Knowing your body can help you enjoy pleasure more – especially sexual pleasure.
Does this mean solo-play can increase your chances of orgasm? YES!2
1. Learn Your Genitals
Some studies have shown that if one has a negative self-image of their genitals, they are less likely to experience sexual satisfaction1. This means that not liking (or not knowing) your genitals could impact your sexual pleasure!
Some people (especially those with vulvas) have never seen what their genitals look like!
Practice Yourself: Hold up a mirror and check out your genitals – learn what each part looks like. All genitals are unique and different; one should love their genitals despite size, shape, or color. Knowing your genitals is a crucial step to discovering your truest form of sexual pleasure. This also helps for you and your medical providers when something seems different. The goal of this exercise is to learn your body; do not criticize or judge your body. Try to view yourself in the lens of compassion and love, especially when viewing your genitals. Love your body, love your genitals.
2. Learn What You Like
A great way for you to have more enjoyable sexual pleasure is to know your body; this is why masturbation can be an effective tool for learning your body and what you like (and what you don’t like)! Many people will not know what feels good to them until they try it; this includes where, how, pressure, temperature, and frequency of ways you want to be touched.
If masturbation seems too daunting for you, try being in a comfortable position and sensually touch your all over your body, possibly in ways you’ve never experienced before (being naked is preferred, but not mandatory). This is another simple exercise to help you discover your body and pleasurable sensations.
3. Where are your Erogenous Zones?
If you want to take it further and discover what really turns you on, find and learn all of your erogenous zones. The goal of this exercise is to learn where you like to be touched.
Don’t be surprised if you discover pleasure you didn’t know about from various parts of your body. This can be done with or without a partner.
Exercise: Touch yourself sensually all over your body just as explained above. This time, focus on specific areas that you enjoy. Notice how some areas of your body are more sensitive, some areas may feel more pleasurable than others: these are your erogenous zones and everybody has different ones! It is best to learn where you like to be touched so that you can explore your pleasures yourself and be able to tell any partner what you like to leave out any confusion.
Underrated Erogenous zones3
- Behind the knee
- Inner thighs
By knowing your body, you are more likely to experience increased sexual pleasure. To be able to know, and express, where you like to be touched and how, one is able to pleasure themselves more effectively and communicate to any partner how they would like to be pleasured.
- Fischer, N., Træen, B. A Seemingly Paradoxical Relationship Between Masturbation Frequency and Sexual Satisfaction. Arch Sex Behav 51, 3151–3167 (2022). https://doi.org/10.1007/s10508-022-02305-8
- Mintz, L. B. (2018). Becoming Cliterate: Why Orgasm Equality Matters–and How to Get It. New York, NY: HarperOne, an imprint of Harper Collins.
- Nummenmaa, L., Suvilehto, J.T., Glerean, E. et al. Topography of Human Erogenous Zones. Arch Sex Behav 45, 1207–1216 (2016). https://doi.org/10.1007/s10508-016-0745-z