Okay, confession time: I’m obsessed with Babygirl. Halina Reijn’s film isn’t just an erotic thriller – honestly, I wouldn’t even call it a thriller; it’s just straight-up erotic – it’s a full-blown exploration of female desire, agency, and the deliciously messy dance of power.

I was so hooked, I watched it over Christmas break in the theaters and bought it the second it became available on streaming. Seriously, I haven’t stopped thinking about it.

Here at EngErotics, we’re big proponents of representation in media. This past summer, we hosted a P-Valley watch party, diving deep into every episode of the Starz show and discussing everything from the complexities of sex work and the Black experience to the power of female friendships and community. (You can hear all our conversations on our podcast!

Representation matters, and “Babygirl” offers a fascinating perspective on female sexuality and power.

To explore these themes further, we conducted a survey about the film, gathering diverse perspectives on its complex portrayal of desire and power. As Lisa Vandever, Co-Founder/Director of CineKink, shared, “The thrill that a passing “good girl” shout-out can elicit is just ridiculous.” It’s these nuanced, relatable moments that make the film so compelling.

Another survey participant, Sara, an Administrative Assistant, noted, “It has the same structure as Secretary and Sanctuary, which is that it’s another interesting representation of power dynamics if you can get past the murky coercions and consent violations that become acceptable because they both actually want it. The characters are supposed to be disgusted by kink and the need to play out these taboo desires. That’s the internal struggle—the relationship to shame. The happy ending, of course, is accepting her role by resisting the fear that holds power against her intimacy and desires. That is a big part of my kink and draw to power dynamics.”

The plot, in a nutshell:

Romy (Nicole Kidman) is a successful CEO who’s feeling unfulfilled in her marriage. She embarks on a passionate affair with her younger intern, Samuel (Harris Dickinson), and things get… complicated.

And hot.

“The strawberry candy scene in the shit hole hotel room,” as described by a survey participant, the Mortician/Pro-Domme/Showgirl with over 20 years in the business, is a perfect example. “It was degrading for her to be there at all, and her humiliation radiated off of her.”

But I’m not going to give away any more than that. You need to see this for yourself.

Let’s talk about the power dynamics. Babygirl flips the script, showing a powerful woman who craves submission in the bedroom. It’s not about weakness; it’s about exploring a different side of herself, a side that society often tells women they shouldn’t have. It’s about owning her desires, even if they’re a little unconventional.

As Lisa Vandever encouraged in our survey, “Acknowledge and embrace your desires!”

The film raises questions about what women are “allowed” to want and the complexities of consent. “I think it showed two people developing a sense of self-awareness and trying to learn/explore/understand the dynamic,” shared an Anonymous B2B Marketing Manager in their survey response. “I really appreciate that the film was consent-heavy. He was always checking in and making sure he was doing it right, and if it was what she wanted.”

The Mortician/Pro-Domme/Showgirl also highlighted in their survey response “the modern negotiation of and insistence on consent.”

Romy’s husband, Jacob, played by Antonio Banderas, adds another layer of complexity to the film’s exploration of relationships and desire. He’s not just the “other man”; he’s a complex character in his own right, struggling with his own insecurities and desires.

The film doesn’t paint him as a villain, but rather as a man grappling with the realities of a long-term relationship and the challenges of maintaining intimacy. As one survey participant, an Anonymous IT Project Manager, suggested some advice, “…tell the husband not to go beyond his comfort and that it’s ok to bring in others if more is needed for both parties to be comfortable and satisfied.” This sentiment speaks to the film’s broader exploration of communication, boundaries, and the ever-evolving nature of desire within a relationship.

And the tension? Oh, the tension!

The power dynamic between Romy and Samuel is a rollercoaster. It twists, it turns, and it leaves you breathless. It’s about more than just sex; it’s about intimacy, vulnerability, and the search for authentic connection. It’s about the push and pull, the give and take, and the delicate balance of control. One Anonymous IT Project Manager recalled this moment in their survey response, “When they first played together and she started crying and he wrapped her in his arms and held her.” These moments of tenderness amidst the intensity are what make the film so impactful. Aftercare is often overlooked in onscreen kink representation.

The soundtrack of Babygirl deserves its own shout-out. It’s not just background music; it’s another character in the film, amplifying the mood, the tension, and the raw emotion of every scene. From the pulsing beats of the club scenes to the more intimate, melancholic melodies that accompany Romy’s moments of vulnerability, the music perfectly complements the narrative.

As the Mortician/Pro-Domme/Showgirl, simply put it, “The soundtrack rules.” It’s the kind of soundtrack you’ll want to download and listen to on repeat, reliving the film’s most intense moments. Which is something I do almost nightly. 

As a business that sells intimacy devices, we understand the importance of exploring and embracing your sexuality. Babygirl reminds us that desire is complex, multifaceted, and often intertwined with power. It’s a conversation starter, a thought provoker, and a damn good time. As the Mortician/Pro-Domme/Showgirl, wisely summed up one of the main themes of the movie, “…Open and honest communication is key if you do not want to ruin your life.”

So, what are you waiting for? Go watch Babygirl and then come talk about it with us in our Facebook group! We can’t wait to hear your thoughts.